Prepare yourself for every single detail. Even the minute details. And you betcha, the gory details too. I always want to remember everything. The magic is in the little moments.
If you want to skip the extra stuff and get to the true BIRTH story, skip down till you see a picture of just me in front of a mirror. And for the even more sped up version, find a picture of my midwife and I in the bathroom. ;)
Now, onto the true grit version…
I kept saying this would be my earliest baby. “But I promise, I'm not getting my hopes up.” I didn't want to sound like every other mother who says she thinks she's going to have her baby early.
This was my third baby after-all, and I was more than happy to go the full 40 weeks (maybe more) before entering those slow-moving newborn days. My life is busy and extra busy now as the holiday season was upon us. Every weekend had something going on. Having a newborn in tow was not going to make my life any easier.
But I just had a feeling.
So just in case I was right, I was eagerly trying to check everything off of my list of "before baby to-dos". My home-birth supplies were happily in order by 37 weeks. I even raised the bar and put them in place in my bedroom just to not have to transfer them the day of. The chances these days of misplacing things was high and I wasn’t gonna let that happen.
The only thing I was waiting on was my birth tub which I was renting from my friend and midwife, Nat. She was out of town till the 24th. But she promised she'd get it to me right away, once she was back.
SUNDAY - 10/25/20
Of course, Nat followed through and had the tub to me the day after she got home, on Sunday.
It was really good to see Nat and talk through a couple pregnancy things I was dealing with and get excited together about what the impending labor and delivery would be like this time! (She was there for Maple’s quick delivery and we had been curious ever since of what my next would be like.)
She talked us through how to set up the tub and then we made tentative plans to get our nails done together that week - a little pre-labor pampering tradition that I still hadn't checked off my list.
And that closed the last weekend before I met my third baby.
MONDAY - 10/26/20
It was the beginning of the work week again and when David kissed me goodbye at 6 am, I was about to tell him, “keep your phone on you at all times, from here on out” - but alas, sleep overcame me and the words never reached the surface.
The kids woke up at 7:30 (an extra 30 minutes of sleep for me - woohoo!) and when I went in to get them, Gideon opened the blinds and exclaimed, “It’s a beautiful day!” Something about his sweet voice looking into the day with such a positive attitude made me feel really good about the day ahead.
He followed me into my bedroom and immediately saw the still coiled up tub and said, “You didn’t set up the pool Mommy!" I was planning on waiting till David got home in the evening to try and put it together, but I could tell Gideon was excited about it and thought I could possibly tackle it on my own. So Gideon helped me move all the furniture out of the corner of the bedroom to make room for it.
Next, we went and made breakfast and I suddenly felt like I could poop. This was strange since my schedule is so consistent. I always go about an hour after I eat and drink my morning coffee. That poopy sensation was followed by a noticeable amount of mucus in my underpants, enough that I was uncomfortable and needed to clean myself up and get some fresh undies. Wetness is normal in pregnancy, but when I sat down on the toilet I could see this was different. It was a thicker strand of mucus and when I wiped, there was light strands of blood in it! I was instantly brought back to the beginning of Gideon's labor. It looked just like this a day or two before I had him.
I texted Nat to tell her we should probably get our nails done tomorrow (Tuesday) because I had seen a little blood.
She called me immediately and asked if David and I had sex that night or morning. When I said no, she said “this sounds like bloody show to me” and that they often see women go into labor 12 to 24 hours after the first sign of bloody mucus. That’s when things got real for me. I think I knew deep down that this was a sign the baby was coming soon, but I didn’t know it could be that soon. I was thinking more like 2 or 3 days from now. What she was saying meant I could start having contractions after putting the kids to bed that night.
Nat also informed me that Justine (my main midwife) was out of town and wouldn't be back till Tuesday afternoon. I was bummed to hear this, as I had grown really fond of her and wanted to finish the journey with her by my side. But, Nat was back, and I felt really good as long as she'd be there with me. Alia, the other midwife in Justine's practice was on call and I was happy that I had met with her a few times and had a great report from my friend, Heather, about her support from her last son’s birth. I was sad to possibly not have Justine, but I still felt comfort in the team I’d have with me either way. Plus, maybe she’d make it. 24 hours meant starting labor at 8 am Tuesday morning and she could maybe be back in time for that...
Suddenly, being alone with the kids, knowing my impending fate (haha), seemed a bit overwhelming. This baby was going to be born at home and I wanted the space to feel peaceful and I just knew I wouldn't be able to succeed in that, with my two little monkeys bouncing around the house, making their messes everywhere. So, once I got off the phone with Nat, I called Sandi to let her know the news and ask if she could come over and help me set up the birth tub.
I was getting that "poopy" feeling again and still hadn't eaten or had coffee. I finally sat down on the toilet and had very loose stool. Yet another sign that labor was on the way! This was actually very reassuring, because, once I began to spread the word, I started to second guess if this was really happening. At this point, any little labor sign, was happily welcomed.
I then finally called David and got the classic "In a meeting" text reply. It was time for the two call approach. (our sign that I needed him right away) My second call he picked up instantly. This was the first time I had to call him to tell him news like this. He was there with me both other times when labor started. I had a feeling that this time he’d be away.
I could tell in his voice that he knew something was up. I told him about the blood and what Nat said and about having that weird premonition this morning when he left for work. He was so surprised and said my call was good timing since he was in a meeting with all the department heads. Now he could tell everyone at the same time that he probably wouldn't be in the office tomorrow.
We finished with nervous chuckles and "I love you's". This was happening. We both knew it. We just couldn't believe it was happening NOW. I mean, there were still two weeks to go before my due date!
I started doing little things to get our room ready and feel more clean. Any clutter I moved into our guest room, filling David's home desk with crap (sorry babe). Whatever the rest of the house looked like, I wanted my room to be clean and ready to go at a moment's notice. I also started taking pictures of the day. I was sad to have so few pictures from Maple's birth day and, although, I was hopeful my cousin would make it to the birth and get some photos for me, I wanted to have something in case the timing didn't work out.
I was flitting around the house gathering odds and ends and the kid's were getting restless. I put on a show for Gideon, set out some cars for Maple, brought the diffuser in my room and turned up on worship music, hoping to get in the right mentality. But even with the kids not whining at my feet, I started feeling a little frantic. I was excited, but I can’t say I felt peaceful.
The day Maple was born, I felt so in tune with God. So aligned. So trusting and full of peace, walking in faith towards her story that was about to unfold. I didn't feel that at all this time. This wasn’t how I wanted it to feel going into this labor.
Sam and Heather had already texted about getting together for an outing, and although I didn't want to sound the alarm, I knew I needed a little extra support. I got on the phone with Heather and told her the exciting news. It reminded me so much of last time when I made a similar call. Heather's excitement was such an encouraging sound. I am so thankful to have such good friends so nearby. What a blessing. I asked if they could take the kids so I could spend some time alone setting up the space and praying over the day.
Of course they said a hearty “yes!” and asked if there was anything else they could do for me.
“Hmmmm” I had already been thinking that morning about what I would want my after birth meal to be. I wasn't't sure. With Gideon I craved pizza after the two long hours of pushing. We weren't able to get it though, because it was so late at night. With Maple, I remedied that and ordered pizza ahead of time so we would at least have it to heat up after. Unfortunately pizza, although tasty, wasn't all that I hoped it would be for a post labor meal. Her labor was much quicker and easier and I didn't need all those bready carbs. So what would I want this time? And then I thought how much I'd like one of Heather's delicious homemade soups.
I didn't want to ask too much, but I couldn't help but mention this to her. She said she had just made Tom Kha Gai soup the night before and could bring that for me to heat up whenever I wanted it. That sounded amazing. It was too perfect!
(I would come to learn that day, God was already taking such good care of me, before I even had to ask.)
Maple seemed tired, and in my excited state, I couldn’t handle the neediness and wanting to be held constantly so I decided to give her an early nap. I told her to pick out a book to read and of course she went and grabbed “Lil Miss Big Sis” - the book I gifted her when we told the kids we were having another baby.
Gideon and Maple snuggled into me and we read it, with so much more meaning and excitement this time. These words would be coming true for them so soon. I kissed my current baby and shed a little tear, knowing everything was about to change. She wouldn’t be my baby anymore. But she would always be my Maple Jane.
I shut the door and felt a calming wave come over me. I had made the right decision putting her down. The ability to make good decisions, isn’t always my strength, especially when it comes to my kids. Guilt, concern, worries about what others think, get the best of me and I don’t always go with my gut. I was happy to be making some wise decisions this morning. Asking for help, being okay with TV to distract, and knowing when rest is needed. I was proud of myself and feeling the reward of being unconcerned for the burdens of others. I had the burden (the wonderful burden) of bringing life into the world to worry about and it was okay to think of myself at this time.
Sandi arrived shortly after Maple went down and we were able to pretty easily, set up the tub together with a little help from Sam and Heather when they arrived.
They came bearing cookies and flowers, a freezer meal and the Thom Kha soup. They're too good to me! They prayed over me in my bedroom. Gideon came in and touched my belly and asked me to pray for him. It was so special having my first son, who made me a mommy there to share in this moment. Maple woke up and they whisked the kids away and were gone. Sandi stayed to help start some loads of laundry, do dishes, fill our waters, and then left and took Gus. Before I knew it, It was just me in the house.
I was already feeling so much better than I had a couple hours prior, but now I was really feeling God’s wonderful peace. Nat had recommended I take a bath to relax and that sounded perfect. I filled the tub with hot water and poured in some special, soothing bubble bath. It was pampering time. I had lavender oils diffusing, my birth songs were playing, and I made myself a cup of red raspberry leaf tea accompanied by some fresh raspberries. Last, I grabbed the jar of notes my good friends had written at my baby shower (that I had yet to read), and then sunk into the tub.
It was such a special time. I felt so loved as I read their sweet words and scriptures they had shared for my birth. I rested my hands on my belly talked to Theo and prayed for him. I prayed for my heart and mind to be clear. Prayed for everything to happen as it should. Thanking God for all he had given me and the wonderful blessing to come. I felt so near to God and was really cherishing this time to prepare myself and our home to welcome baby Theo.
Heather's note particularly struck me. She wrote,
I'm praying for this birth to be an experience that brings you into an awareness of God's love and care for you on a level that you haven't yet known.
I had already begun to see this prayer unfold and was excited to see all that God had for me in Theo's birth story.
I got out of the bath feeling very relaxed and filled with hope.
I made a last minute decision to get down some strands of lights from our Christmas boxes to hang up in the bedroom. I wanted the room to feel extra cozy if I went into labor at night. This had never happened to me and it was hard to imagine it happening this time, but just in case, I set the stage. For the finishing touch, I taped the words of encouragement and verses around the room. I stood back and looked around. It was beautiful, and I was so happy and full of wonder at the life God had given me.
It was 3 pm and everything was in it's place. David informed me he would be home soon. He had a jiujitsu class that evening at 5:30 and although I wanted to ask him to skip it, I held back. I really wanted to have a family night, just the four of us, in case it was our last, but this could also be his last jiujitsu class for a while and I felt bad asking him to not go. He let me know he was on his way home around 4pm and said that his class had been canceled. A smile spread over my face and I was reminded, once again, just how much God cared for me.
Heather brought the kids home around 4:30. I asked her to take one last picture of us as a family of four in front of our home and we made guesses on when Theo would be born. It was all so nostalgic of Maple's birth. (All these things had happened right before she was born.) Heather said 4 am and David said 11 am. I couldn’t get myself to name a time. Seeing as I wasn’t in labor yet, his birth still seemed far away.
We ordered Thai takeout for dinner (I laughed as we ate it thinking of all the birth stories I’d listened to of women eating spicy food to induce labor.) After we ate, we went for a walk in the Elfin forest. I hadn't done anything yet to encourage labor and I figured it was worth a try. Plus, I hadn’t been out of the house all day and I could use the fresh air.
It was lovely to be out in nature. I cherish family walks in our town and thanked God for these three precious loves of mine. and the beautiful life we lived.
We put the kids to bed and I had another special moment with Maple. It really hit me then, that she would no longer be the baby of the family. I teared up again, kissed her soft cheek and said “night night”.
The kids were in bed and David and I enjoyed another favorite form of natural induction ;) Afterward, we got snuggly in the living room and put on the new season of the Great British Baking Show, with our own slices of pie in hand.
Now, the last thing I didn't get to do, was having my nails painted. I decided I'd do it myself! While we watched the show, ate our pie, and painted my nails, I tried to look for any changes in my braxton hick contractions. I had been having irregular braxton hicks for what seemed like months now. They happened often, but in the last couple weeks had become more active on my cervix and felt like they were actually dilating me a bit. Nothing was changing though, as I sat there.
With my nails done, I was ready to go to bed feeling perfectly prepared for my second boy to come.
In bed by 10, we drifted off to sleep quickly and comfortably. I really didn't expect to wake up in labor that night.
Around 12:30 I heard Maple crying and stirred. I felt something like a burning sensation and thought it was just my classic nighttime bout of heartburn. I laid there waiting for her to settle when it hit me that I had been having very broken sleep the past two hours. Maple had been crying for a while, I was feeling slightly uncomfortable and having the strangest dreams. Then I felt the burning sensation again. That was no heartburn. And it wasn't my normal braxton hick. This was different.
I got up to check on Maple. I was still feeling sentimental about my baby girl, so I picked her up and laid down on the couch in their room with her flailed over my big belly. There was that sensation again. I finally gave in and decided it was a contraction - a real contraction. I laid there snuggling my girl and trying to accept the reality of night labor and then another contraction came. All of the sudden I realized this wasn't where I wanted to be having contractions, smushed down by my girl who was no baby anymore. I put her back in her crib, praying for a deep sleep to overcome her.
I crawled back into bed and opened my contraction tracker app. I needed to see how close they were and if there was any consistency. One came, the next came again 6 minutes later, then 8, then 10, 11 - they were predictable, but gradually spreading apart. Should I lay here and try and sleep or get up and see if they would intensify? Maple was still crying off and on and didn't seem like she was going to settle anytime soon, so I woke up David to check on her while I got up to track a few more contractions.
The contractions were still inconsistent, but were looking closer together on my feet.
David came out with a very sick and sad looking Maple. ( I forgot to mention that Gideon and Maple had both woken up that morning with runny noses. Perfect timing...) We decided it would probably be best to ask David's mom to come pick her up. If this was really happening, we weren’t going to be able to give Maple the attention she needed. Thankfully, we got ahold of Sandi easily and she came right over and picked Maple up.
David called my cousin Joanna, who was planning on coming to experience the midwifery model of birth and take pictures for me. She lives an hour and a half away and needed the time to get up here, so I didn't hesitate to contact her. I wanted her to have time to get here safely.
Around 2 am, I finally texted Nat a screenshot of the contraction tracker to show her what they were looking like. I texted because I was nervous to call and wake my birth team up too soon, but then I remembered what Justine had said about telling them at the first sign of real labor. I pulled myself together and called, but she didn't answer. I called two more times with no answer. This was odd. I decided I should call Alia but then realized I didn’t have her number.
David looked at me and said, “Call Justine.” I felt so bad because she wasn't on call but I didn't have another option at this point. She answered right away and told me she was back in town. She had come back! I was so so happy to hear this! (God knew I wanted her there. He really did care for me.) She asked about my contractions and told me to try to lay back down and sleep if I could and let her know when my contractions were 5,5,5.
She said she was going to get ahold of Nat for me. Not long after we hung up Nat called me. back Her phone was having issues and she wasn't receiving calls, but she thought she heard her phone ring and decided it must have been me calling her so late at night. Good thing, her intuition was right!
Once I got off the phone and started tracking my contractions again they were coming every 3 minutes. I'm guessing that once Maple was gone and I didn't't have to worry about her, my mind relaxed and let my body get into labor-mode.
I was texting with Nat and Justine. I told them about the change. They asked about intensity and I said "intense but manageable". They expected them to be more intense that close together, but I felt totally in control even though they had ramped up.
By 2:30am they both said they would be on their way over soon. By 3am they were both there with me.
It was strange having them show up to our house at this stage in labor. With Maple I had accidentally waited too long and did all the laboring on my own.
I wasn't sure how I felt about it at first, but quickly realized how nice it was to have the support. I had sent David to bed in the guest room to rest till we needed him. Unfortunately, he didn't have very long to sleep before I had to wake him up to help fill the birth tub. The hose on our bathroom sink was spraying water everywhere. He fixed it and went back to bed. Sadly, it wasn’t long before we needed him again. The water came out hot for a few minutes, but then turned warm. We needed to fill the tub with really hot water to a certain height before we could turn on the heating mechanism. The heater would only maintain the temperature, not heat it up, so the water had to be hot.
David started boiling water on the stove and bringing buckets full of pretty hot water from the hall bathroom. For some reason our bathroom doesn't get hot water as quickly and as consistently. We had this problem with Maple's birth and I didn't get to use the tub because the water was too cold once it was full. I was really happy Nat was there to help us get it right this time. She knew how badly I wanted a water birth!
I swayed through each contraction and even though the intensity was steadily rising, I still felt really good. Theodore, inside me, was swaying too, moving all about. I kept laughing because I couldn’t remember his brother or sister moving in labor at all. He, on the other hand wouldn't stop. Even Nat noticed and mentioned it.
There was slight back labor and some discomfort in my thighs, but if I pushed my knuckles into my lower back, it didn't bother me, kind of doing my own counter pressure. Nat asked if I wanted her to get David to push on my back, but for some reason I didn't want him to. I was happy just having it be me and Nat in the room. Plus he was busy shuttling water back and forth.
Once the tub was full enough, Nat asked if I wanted to get in. It felt so good! I couldn't feel the back labor anymore, and the contractions were so easy in there. It was almost too easy. It kind of worried me. I asked if it was okay if the water made my labor slow down. She reassured me that even if it slowed it down, it would probably just help me rest but wouldn't be so much slower that I wouldn't progress. She said that they would keep an eye on it.
Joanna arrived and started snapping pictures. I was happy she made it and glad she was going to be able to witness all parts of the labor process. Home births are so unique and special. I hoped it would make a positive impact on her life.
Time passed quickly in the tub and I was still feeling really good, chatting with Jo in between contractions. Nat suggested I get on the toilet to change positions. I thought that was probably a good idea. I wasn't concerned about things moving too slowly in the tub, but I liked the idea of not getting stuck in one place. And I had listened to enough birth stories to know that movement and changing positions was always good for progressing labor.
I was left alone for some time. Nat crept back in and sat quietly by the tub, while I labored in the bathroom. I could hear her saying little encouragements, “good” “good job Natalie”. Her words were so gentle and kind. It was the perfect type of encouragement for me. I like my birth space to be quiet and prefer to be alone, but I loved her calming presence. (I’m so thankful for my birth team!)
The toilet ended up being the perfect spot to progress in peace. It was like a dark, safe hole in the bathroom. This didn’t surprise me too much, since the weeks leading up to this day, I had been noticing how open I felt on the toilet, especially when I would poop. It felt like I was actually dilating there a few times, so it was a very comfortable place for me to open up in labor and receive all that the contractions were offering my body.
The contractions quickly picked up intensity on the toilet. I wasn't prepared for that. Up until this point, I was feeling so good. I instantly noticed myself tensing up. Hands clenched, face wincing, holding my breathe. I knew this was all wrong.
I told myself to “open up” and loosened the grip of my hands, eased the look on my face, let my feet relax into the floor. With the next contraction I hummed low and kept my body as loose as I could. I immediately felt the difference. The openness. That's the word for this labor. OPEN.
I was open to all that my body was capable of. Unafraid. Trusting in the process. And with my mind and heart open, my body opened too and each contraction brought my baby down. Once my heart, and mind, and body were aligned, I was right back to feeling so in control and so good. Theo was still moving all about and it just kept me laughing all the way through.
I knew progress was being made. He was always moving down and with his descent came some bowel movements. I was really happy to be on the toilet and just kept flushing away. Before I knew it, my waters popped. It felt so good. Such a wonderful release of pressure. Again, I was ecstatic to be on the toilet. (So much cleaner than my last experience of my waters breaking on our bedroom carpet.) I knew my waters breaking meant business - his head was ready to go.
I was eager to get back in the water. Nat knew it, and said to go ahead. She checked the toilet and saw that the fluid was clear. No meconium - great news!
I climbed in the tub and sunk down into the water. It was hot! But it felt so good. I looked around and noticed everyone had come into the room. Nat, Justine, Zoey (the student midwife), Joanna, and David were all there. This was our moment to shine. Me and my Theodore.
I grabbed onto the side of the tub, kneeling on my knees and had a very strong contraction. Lots of pressure, but I wasn't going to start pushing until it felt like my body was pushing. I wanted to feel the fetal ejection reflex. that I had heard so much about. After that contraction, I leaned back and Nat checked on Theo’s heart rate. I heard David say that there was one more pot of water on the burner and asked if he should grab it. Justine said to get it and that would be the last one. I felt the next contraction coming and got into position, holding onto the side.
And boy did I feel the reflex. My body began pushing his head out. I yelled "David! The baby's coming!" and he quickly dumped the pot of water into the tub and grabbed onto me and I pushed along with my body.
It was intense, very intense. The hardest part of the night. I felt the burning of his crowning head. And a hundred thoughts started buzzing through my head.
“Here it comes. You can do it. This is intense. This burns. You can stop. No, don't. It will always feel like this. There's no going back. You got this. Do it now."
I committed to the push and let all the energy release. I moaned and groaned and roared. Whatever it took to get his head out. (When I delivered Maple's head, I instinctually reached down and caressed it as I pushed it out.) For some reason, this time, I didn't want t feel his head until it was all the way out. It was like I needed to be detached emotionally until the hardest part was over.
Finally, the relief hit. His head was out. I joyfully, put my hand on it. His hair was swooshing through the water. There was so much of it! After a short pause, I bore down and pushed his body out. Still a hearty push, but nothing like his head. And then it was over.
I reached down and grabbed him out of the water and held him close. There he was. My second little baby boy. Theodore! "Thank you! Thank you God!" I was so happy it was over. So happy he was here. So happy I got to have him in the water.
He was born at 4:49 am after one minute of pushing. Everything I wanted came to fruition. Everyone I wanted to be there was with me. I held my boy and he was so calm. For the first time in months, I felt a calmness about him, that in the womb, wasn't always there. He was so happy it was over too. So happy to be out, to be in my arms. He made the cutest little sounds but didn't cry. He was incredibly peaceful.
I felt so much love. So much gratitude. So much of God’s tender concern for me in this birth.
“Look at that hair!” we exclaimed. The boy had so much dark hair and he was covered in vernix. His face was squishy like a puppy dog and he had my pointy chin and chubby cheeks and David’s big lips. He was perfect.
I saw a release of blood in the water. "I think my placenta’s coming." They helped me turn over and sit down on my bottom. Another contraction came and with a small push, the placenta was delivered. There was a thin piece of tissue still attached. Nat was so gentle and patient to help it come and after a minute, and a few coughs, it released.
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She showed us the placenta, where it was attached to my uterus and the sack that Theo lived in. Then with a few snips, David cut the chord and I was ready to get out. The water was pretty hot still and I didn't feel like sitting in bloody water anymore. I handed Theo over to David and he held him, skin to skin, for the first time.
They helped me get into bed and checked our vitals. Theodore was panting a little so they monitored his oxygen and heart rate. Within 10 minutes, he was doing great. Justine and Nat agreed that the hot water was probably the reason for the heavy breathing.
It wasn’t long before I was ready to take a shower. I felt stinky and sticky.
I love the feeling of showering after birth. Getting dressed in my robe, crawling back into the freshly made bed, and nursing my new little babe is probably my favorite part.
Theo was weighed and measured. He had a chunky little face but once they laid him down, he looked quite small. We were all guessing 8 lbs maybe a little less, but sure enough, he was was right in line with his brother and sister, weighing 8 lb 7 oz and measuring 20 inches long. Thank God he was born 2 weeks early! He could have been HUGE!
Justine filled out paperwork and asked his name. "Theodore."
”Middle name?”
"James", I said.
"Donald", David said.
"I'll leave that blank and let you guys work that out." (It was comical.)
My birth team helped clean up and then Justine and Zoey left. Nat gave us the "stay in bed" speech, which I was very thankful for. Short, easy labors can trick you into thinking you're ready to move around when you're really not. I was thankful to have this talk once again and hear her genuine concern for our well-being.
It was getting close to 7am and we remembered that Gideon would be waking up soon! We were all excited for him to come out and meet his new little brother. When the clock struck 7, we heard him start to move about the room, turning off the white noice, opening the drawers, changing his clothes. Then we heard the door handle creak, and we all went quiet. He opened the door, turned off the light and then shut the door. He crept into our doorway. He saw Nat and Joanna first and moved slowly, wondering why they were there.
"Guess who's here, Gideon? Your baby brother was born last night! Come up and meet him." He cautiously climbed onto the bed with his best little Gieon grin on his face. He looked really happy and excited but he remained quiet. This was a dream. So different then when he met Maple for the first time.
And then he leaned over the baby and whispered, “Hi little Theodore Donald Rans”.
If you had asked me before, about going into labor at night, I would have said, “I'd never choose that”. But it turned out glorious. The space I created in our bedroom was so cozy feeling in the darkness, while the rest of the world around us was sleeping. I felt safe there, unexposed. And having our firstborn sleeping next-door to the magic taking place in our room, was a wonderful surprise to me as well. I'm not sure if I'll ever want my children present for a birth, but having him wake up to his baby brother was a moment I’ll never forget. Unfortunately, Maple wasn't there for that special reveal, but it was okay. That's how it had to be and I accepted and loved it just as it was.
It was Tuesday, October 27th, 2020 and the sun was beginning to rise on a new day. A new life. A new family.
We called our friend Sam and asked if he would come pick up Gideon so we could get some sleep. I had only slept 2 hours and David, not much more. We were tired, and ready for the much needed rest we deserved.
Just like that, we were left alone with the third little miracle that we created. We snuggled in and went to sleep.
Happy Birth Day Theodore Donald Rans!
